


you used to adore me

by blooshboy



Series: kink series [2]
Category: GOT7
Genre: Crossdressing, Daddy Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-17 22:27:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7288528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blooshboy/pseuds/blooshboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jinyoung looks good in black.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you used to adore me

###

 

Mark has tunnel vision when it comes to Jinyoung. Jackson assures him it'll be the absolute death of him but when Jinyoung saunters up to him after school, making their dull uniform look like something out of a sick porno, something in Mark short-circuits and all he can do is open his arms. He has a bike which Jinyoung _adores_ \- he's always running his thin, pale fingers along the pitch black of it, commenting on how sleek it is, how fast it is, how much he likes straddling it. He gets distracted by Mark's thighs and drops the subject, but Mark sees the way his eyes glitter when school ends and Mark is waiting for him right outside on his bike. Jinyoung has a stepfather who also has a bike but Mark tries not to think about that. 

They always ride down to the market and walk around, popping in and out of arcades and karaoke bars. Jinyoung smokes and Mark watches him, the cigarette burning and creating a pit of irrational jealousy for wanting to be the addiction Jinyoung is so desperately sucking between his lips. The sun sets and Jinyoung eyes get darker. Mark can only see his pretty face perfectly now and then when they pass under store signs but he catches his mouth effortlessly when they sneak into an alley to kiss. 

Jinyoung lets Mark put his hands anywhere, would get on his knees for him right there if Mark asked him to, but Jinyoung deserves better. He's spoiled and bitchy and awful mean sometimes but he's got a soft heart and a shitty life at home. Mark wants to protect him even more than he wants to fuck him. 

Right before it gets too dark, Mark drops Jinyoung off at his house - outside the gate because Jinyoung doesn't want his mother asking questions (doesn't want his stepfather knowing). And, Mark stays there for a while, watching the black gates open after Jinyoung punches in the code and starts walking up the driveway towards the large house - not looking back once. Mark stays until Jinyoung is inside and the gates have closed again and the leftmost bedroom light flickers on. He stays until he sees Jinyoung's shadow move around the room. 

His heart doesn't settle until it's tomorrow again and school ends and Jinyoung is walking towards his bike. 

 

 

"Will you miss me when you're in college?" Jinyoung asks out of the blue. Mark is sitting up against the wall with his legs spread out. He'd been toying with his guitar before Jinyoung had plucked it out of his hands and crawled between his legs, resting his back against Mark's chest. He's got a pack of cigarettes in his hand that he keeps flipping around because he's not allowed to smoke in Mark's room. Mark's mother already thinks Jinyoung is bad news, he can't risk them smelling smoke and not letting Jinyoung come over on weekends. 

So they're sprawled on the floor and Mark has nothing to put his hands on except Jinyoung. 

"Of course. It'll only be a year and then you'll be there, too," he says softly, cheek resting against Jinyoung's head.

Jinyoung stays quiet and Mark closes his eyes, breathing in the coconut scent of his shampoo and trying very hard not to think too much.

 

 

Everything stays the same until Jinyoung's parents throw a party. 

 

 

In retrospect, he wishes he'd walked out of the house rather than going deeper inside towards the restroom. He hears a low voice and slows down, stopping just short of where the hallway rounds into another long stretch. His heart drops painfully when he recognizes Jinyoung's voice but that's normal, that's what it always does - that's what _Jinyoung_ always does to him. It's the what he says that makes him freeze and gets his heart pounding loud and annoying.

"I know," he's whispering harshly, "I know, okay? I get it. You don't _love_ me."

Curling just a little further, Mark can see Jinyoung pressed back against the wall with his head down which his step-father is pressed against the opposite wall - eyes sad and fond as they stay glued to Jinyoung's quivering lips. 

Mark's mind begins to panic, scrambling to talk him into leaving, forgetting what he saw, but his feet feel like lead. Jinyoung's step-father (Choi Sungjoo, his mind provides in a haze of red panic) suddenly pushes off of the wall and towards Jinyoung. He doesn't look up as Sungjoo comes closer and instead closes his eyes. When Sungjoo reaches out to gently trace his jaw, Jinyoung swallows and Mark sees a clear line of tears slide down his cheek. It seems to hurt Sungjoo just as much as it hurts Mark. 

"Come on, sweetheart, don't do that," Sungjoo says softly, catching the tears with his thumb and after a brief heated second, dragging the wet thumb over and across Jinyoung's lips. Jinyoung finally opens his eyes and more tears slip out, but Sungjoo doesn't bother catching them. Instead, he presses a delicate kiss on Jinyoung's lips, stilling the quiver with the pressure. Mark's heart seems to fall right into his stomach with a loud thud and he feels queasy. He'd always suspected  _something_ because of the way Jinyoung talked about Sungjoo - about how perfect he was, about how his mother was a cheating whore who didn't deserve him, hadn't deserved Jinyoung's real father either. He'd always suspected Jinyoung put his misplaced daddy issues and twisted it and sexualized it and got hooked them into Sungjoo who was handsome and young and seemed to be one of the very few people in his life who cared about Jinyoung. 

Mark had suspected but seeing it in reality is something else. 

As soon as Sungjoo breaks the kiss and steps away, Jinyoung makes a broken noise and surges forward - wrapping his arms around Sungjoo's shoulders and crashing their mouths together. Sungjoo allows the desperate kiss for only a few seconds before he's prying Jinyoung's arms off of him and gently pushing him back against the well. 

"We can't," he says simply, "As long as I'm married, I'm loyal to her. I can only be a father for you. Or, maybe a friend. But, never this."

Jinyoung looks petulant and childish, cheeks flushed red and lips still quivering as he bites out, "That marriage is a fucking _joke_. You think _she's_ loyal to _you_?"

Sungjoo doesn't even flinch. 

"Regardless," he says, "You need to find someone your own age to give you normalcy. This thing between us is destructive. You wreck me and confuse me and I don't even think you love me," he talks right over Jinyoung's wide-eyed protest, "I'm thirty years old and can't afford to be stupid over some high schooler."

All wet eyes and soft skin, Jinyoung doesn't look like something a thirty year old could refuse, but Sungjoo seems to do it with terrible ease. Mark has to jerk back and retreat a couple of steps as Sungjoo begins to walk away from Jinyoung. Acting as though he was just headed that way, Mark jumps slightly when he rounds the corner and nearly collides with Sungjoo. After a few gracious apologies and a brief minute of small talk, Sungjoo keeps walking out - pausing to point towards the restroom and without suspicion, assuring him there were definitely restrooms closer to the party. 

Mark is expecting Jinyoung to have disappeared into one of the rooms but instead he's right where Sungjoo left him, pressed against the wall with his head hung low. He isn't crying anymore but he seems to have angrily wiped at his face - skin still wet and an irritated red and hair out of place. He looks up when he hears Mark - eyes wide and desperate before they probably see he's not Sungjoo.

"Is there a particular reason why you're just hanging out in an empty hallway?" Mark asks, going for casual and blissfully unaware. 

It seems to work because Jinyoung is immediately relaxing and sparing him a small smile. He's pliable as ever, letting Mark grab his hand and pull him close. His lips feel warm and soft when Mark kisses him - resisting the urge to bite down and erase Sungjoo. 

Jinyoung lets himself be kissed and then he lets himself be pulled even closer until he's got his cheek resting on Mark's shoulder. His voice is muffled against Mark's shirt when he says, "You always make everything better."

It's uncharacteristically sweet and genuine and vulnerable. He has an ache in his chest from missing the bitchy, sarcastic Jinyoung who always has half his face hidden by smoke. This Jinyoung is a broken little thing who doesn't have a single good parent figure and thinks he's got to steal something from his mother just to make her pay for losing his father. This Jinyoung thinks he's going to find love in a grown, married man. This Jinyoung only gets on Mark's bike because it makes him feel like he's holding his step-father. 

 

 

Everything's different after that night. Jinyoung is sweet but distant. So, in turn, Mark is distant and cold. He's sick of being a substitute and Jinyoung notices. So the distance flips into desperation and neediness. He overcompensates but it only makes Mark sick to his stomach. Jinyoung starts looking like a caged rabbit on his best days and with college so close on the horizon, Mark wonders if he might just snap in two pieces. And, he does. But, in typical Jinyoung fashion, he does it so gracefully and beautifully, it seems like it's on purpose. 

And, in typical Jinyoung fashion, it involves breaking Mark in the process. 

 

 

Jinyoung lets Mark in on a secret and it's as devastating as the rest of him. He takes Mark to his house for real for the first time, pushing past Sungjoo without looking at him or acknowledging his _Jinyoung-ah_. He has Mark by the hand and he pushes him over to sit on the bed while he walks into his enormous closet and shuts the door. As Jinyoung rustles around in there, Mark takes the time to look around - smiling at the little touches of the boy all over the spacious room. It's neat and orderly, but with occasional and random spots of bright color. A few minutes later, the door of the closet swings open and Mark's heart falls right into his stomach. 

It's Jinyoung and yet, it's not. 

He's wearing lace, a lot of it. Garters and a see-through bustier that forms a shape Jinyoung's body doesn't naturally possess. He's wear panties, too. The garters span from the panties to thigh length socks. It's all black - a startling contrast against Jinyoung's pale, flushed skin. He looks nervous but elated. He has his hair tucked behind his ear so he looks feminine and soft and sweet - but - 

He looks like -

Mark swallows. 

"Fuck," he breathes out, in distress, but Jinyoung takes it as something else, smiling prettily. 

He looks like his mother. It's so sick and Mark connects the dots rapidly. Jinyoung dresses up like his mother sometimes to appeal to Sungjoo in that way. _Fuck_ , Mark thinks, _fuck_ , fuck. It's devastating, but Mark fucks Jinyoung anyway - maybe purposely rough so Sungjoo will hear Jinyoung's shouts and know what he's missing, what this sweet boy is offering to him daily. He wants Sungjoo twisting and turning trying to think of a reason to refuse the decadent picture Jinyoung makes when he has his panties pulled the side and is holding himself open and begging Mark to fuck him.

It feels noble, but he still feels sick when he leaves, as if he's dirtied himself along with Jinyoung in this sick fantasy. He loves that boy more than anything and he'll let that boy get on his bike, but he doesn't think he can be what that boy really needs.

 

 

Mark is fishing out his helmet from his locker when a gentle voice startles him into nearly slamming it on his fingers. 

"You don't have to leave late just to avoid me, hyung."

Trying not to seem like Jinyoung just scared the living daylights out of him, Mark doesn't make eye contract as he grabs his backpack and swings it over one shoulder, tucking the helmet under his arm. He closes the locker and is greeted by Jinyoung's unreadable face. 

"I'm not avoiding you," he says, the words coming to a strange halt that makes it seem like he has an explanation to follow. When he stays quiet, the words land heavily and Jinyoung flashes him a bitter smile. 

"I'm not going to bother you anymore," Jinyoung says, looking down at his feet, "I know I tend to do that a lot."

"Do what?" Mark finds himself asking, if only to prompt Jinyoung to  _look_ at him. 

"Latch on."

The way he says it is so achingly sad, so profoundly  _Jinyoung_ , that Mark can't help sighing and reaching for him. He wraps an arm around that familiar, slim waist and tugs the boy right against his chest, lets him tuck his head into his shoulder. He feels Jinyoung exhale loudly against his neck - as if he'd been wound tight and tense until Mark took him into his arms. It shouldn't - it really shouldn't - but it makes Mark's heart squeeze sweetly. 

 

 

Mark takes Jinyoung home that night, fucks him face down into the mattress. Jinyoung has to take a bite out of Mark's sheets to keep quiet, his fingers fisted in the same sheets with the same desperation. And, Mark is relentless - pistons his hips hard and fast and rough. Jinyoung is going to have bruises all over himself that he won't be able to explain to his stepdad, he's nearly breathless with pleasure, he's so needy and compliant under Mark's hands. He tries to concentrate on that and not Jinyoung wearing long sleeves to hide where Mark will catch his wrists soon, pressing them against the sheets while he puts Jinyoung's legs over his shoulders. He tries not to think about Jinyoung rubbing his lips consciously after he gets home and he waits for his stepdad to open the door. He tries not to think about Jinyoung avoiding Sungjoo's eyes as shame colors his cheeks, tries not to think about how many tonight will be the night Sungjoo's resolve breaks and he takes Jinyoung - snatches him right out of Mark's grasp. 

Forever - maybe, always. 

So, instead, he closes his eyes and _faster, faster, faster, please_.

 

 

 


End file.
